Well Mary Beth has left me. Not permanently you understand, but for a week to go home because she’s tired of me. That is, of course, not what she said, but I know the “I have to plan our daughter’s wedding” excuse she gave me is weak.
Something happens to the boat when I’m alone on it – entropy takes over. Those of you who have studied physics or thermodynamics will be familiar with the concept of entropy. Entropy is synonymous with disorder and will always increase when left to its own devices. I have studied this phenomenon in detail this week since it’s too windy to sail, and too rough on the boat to read much without the aid of drugs. I will share with you what I have learned in this study.
We’ve all observed this tendency toward disorder. Some parts of our lives are particularly prone to this. Sheds, garages, attics, closets, and yes friends – boats! A boat, being a small space with things stored in the many smaller spaces spread around the boat becomes a veritable explosion of disorder when the organizing force is eliminated. What is the organizing force on Regina Maris? You can guess.
I, on the other hand, am entropy’s best friend. She is a siren who calls me and I fall under her spell quickly. I justify my relationship with her with logic like:
I may need that again, and if I put it away I’ll just have to dig it out again.
Now that I’ve found it, if I put it back in the bizarre place it was, I’ll never see it again.
It goes under all this other stuff, and I can’t move the other stuff because the floor is already covered with stuff so there’s no place to put the stuff I have to take out to make room to get this stuff back where it belongs, so I’ll just put it over there for now.
This is about what things looked like the day before MB arrived back!
How do I overcome this tendency I ask myself. The fact is that I have given up. God made me a disorganized slob for some reason, perhaps to make others feel good about themselves, and I have accepted it. However, there is a certain counter force that appears at times. She, who shall not be named, likes order and is the enemy of entropy. Over the years I have become very aware of my inadequacy in this area and I don’t like MB to give me “that look”. So I, frankly, panic when Mary Beth’s presence is imminent and I push aside my entropy addiction momentarily and stuff things as closely as possible back in their original location. I have discovered a technique to streamline this process, however, that works great on the boat. She does not know what has been taken out, so here’s what I do. I make an heroic effort to get everything tucked away in the right place, but invariably there are things for which I can find no home. If they are expensive bits I will “swap them out” for less expensive items, so at the end I’m left with some items with no home. If I have done my job well, these will all be relatively low value and easily replaced items. What do I do with them? The boat provides the solution. These leftover things go overboard never to be seen again!
he greatest thing about this solution is that Mary Beth eventually assumes she misplaced it! I may be a slob, but I’m a clever slob, and entropy is my friend.